DEALING WITH SETBACKS IN YOUR FAMILY LAW MATTER

It is rare that everything goes according to plan in a family law matter; mistakes can be made and, at times, it can feel all “too hard”. Setbacks are inevitable in family law. To avoid setbacks in family law must knowing the goal-setting in your progress. The best thing to do is to make a plan for how you will cope when you don’t feel good about yourself, your ex, or how things are going with your separation and family law matter.

– Write down a couple of people you can talk to that will encourage you to keep going.
– Write down one thing that you will do when you feel like giving up on your goal.

IF IT IS NOT WORKING OUT WHAT THEN?

If after doing the above, and things aren’t going right, there could be several reasons:

– Your original goal may no longer hold any interest for you — it’s not until you start that you will find this out.
– You have learned something new about yourself along the way and this is something that you are not cut out for. This is NOT a failure.
– You could need a break from working on your goal. Knowing when to put this work aside is as important as pushing yourself to succeed. Set a future date to review and start working on your goal again.
– Your goal was too big to start with. Break it down into smaller more manageable chunks.

DEALING WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY FOLLOWING SEPARATION

With so many changes in your life, many of your old friends might seem changed too. We see them differently. They see us differently.

Many of our old friends will not know how to look at us. It’s a sad fact but you are likely to lose some friends you are not expecting to lose, especially married ones. They may not understand the emotions you are going through and feel inadequate or your separation is a little too close to home.

Comments made by separated parents:

– ‘I looked around and everybody was gone, everybody got kinda weird when I’d run into them at school, the shops, or at functions. Why do my friends react this way?’
– ‘It was awkward for a lot of people, but my friends acted like they were getting divorce instead of me. But now I know how to handle it when it happens to somebody else.’

‘Divorce really lets you know who your friends are.’

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SO WHAT CAN I DO TO MAINTAIN MY FRIENDSHIPS FOLLOWING SEPARATION?

• As soon as you can, sit down and prepare the details that you want others to know, like:
• Is it okay to ask the ex-partner/spouse to parties?
• Is it okay to invite your ex’s new partner to social events?
• Most friends and family want to help but are unaware of what it is you need. Ask for what you want and don’t wait for them to call as they may feel that they are intruding.
• Leave nothing to chance in their understanding of your expectations.
• Do you want them to stay neutral and remain in contact with both of you?
• Do you want a particular friend to be someone you can be confident in?
• Are you comfortable being invited to the same function as your ex?
• Give friends permission to tell you when they need a break. Try to find a support group as an alternative to relying on your friends.

MOST OF ALL, IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A FRIEND — BE ONE.

FAQ

What should I do to avoid setbacks in family law matters?

To avoid setbacks in family law matters, it is important to set goals and make a plan for how you will cope when you don’t feel good about yourself, your ex, or how things are going with your separation and family law matter. Write down a couple of people you can talk to that will encourage you to keep going and write down one thing that you will do when you feel like giving up on your goal.

What should I do if things aren’t going right in achieving my goals?

If things aren’t going right in achieving your goals, there could be several reasons such as the goal no longer holding any interest for you, you have learned something new about yourself along the way, you need a break from working on your goal, or your goal was too big to start with. To overcome this, break the goal down into smaller more manageable chunks, set a future date to review and start working on your goal again, and take a break when needed.

How can I maintain my friendships following separation?

To maintain your friendships following separation, it’s important to sit down with your friends and family as soon as possible and communicate what you want them to know. This can include details such as whether it’s okay to ask the ex-partner/spouse to parties or invite your ex’s new partner to social events. Leave nothing to chance in their understanding of your expectations, give them permission to tell you when they need a break, and try to find a support group as an alternative to relying solely on your friends. Lastly, be a friend if you want to have a friend.

Why do some friends react weirdly after a separation?

Many of our old friends might seem changed too following a separation. This is because they may not understand the emotions you are going through, or your separation may be a little too close to home for them. It’s important to communicate with your friends about what you’re going through and what you need from them to maintain the friendship.

How can I handle it when my friends react awkwardly following a separation?

Handling it when your friends react awkwardly following a separation can be challenging. However, the best thing to do is to communicate with them about what you’re going through and what you need from them to maintain the friendship. Give them permission to tell you when they need a break and try to find a support group as an alternative to relying solely on your friends. Remember, most of all, if you want to have a friend — be one.

The Devastating Effect of COVID-19 already being Felt in Aussie Family Law Courts